A square peg in a round hole is not a problem to be solved. It’s a reminder that human beings were never designed to be manufactured into identical shapes…
…Our uniqueness is not an error in the design. It is the design.”
I have often understood the phrase “square peg in a round hole” as some form of a criticism. It seemed to describe someone who did not fit, someone whose differences were inconvenient, someone expected to reshape themselves to meet the expectations of the world around them. Conformity was the goal, and difference was the obstacle.
However, experience has taught me something very different. A square peg in a round hole is not a problem to be solved. It’s a reminder that human beings were never designed to be manufactured into identical shapes. We arrive in the world carrying different gifts, perspectives, histories, struggles, dreams and ways of experiencing. Our uniqueness is not an error in the design. It is the design. The tragedy is not that some people do not fit. The tragedy is that we have spent so much of human history building holes instead of understanding shapes.
Curiosity asks a different question from judgement. Judgement asks, “Why are you different?” Curiosity asks, “Tell me your story.”
What if the purpose of life is not to become more acceptable, but to become more fully ourselves? What if our greatest responsibility is not to sand down our edges, but to understand what those edges were trying to teach us all along? This is where curiosity becomes one of the most powerful human virtues. Curiosity asks a different question from judgement. Judgement asks, “Why are you different?” Curiosity asks, “Tell me your story.” Judgement seeks conformity. Curiosity seeks understanding. Where does understanding begin? With listening.
True listening is far more than hearing words. It is the willingness to suspend assumptions long enough to encounter another human being as they truly are. It is an act of humility. It acknowledges that every person carries a world within them that we cannot see from the outside. Every square peg has a story. Every unusual shape has been formed by experiences, challenges, joys and lessons often invisible to everyone else. When we listen deeply, difference stops feeling threatening. It becomes fascinating.
True listening is far more than hearing words…
…It is an act of humility.
When we listen deeply, difference stops feeling threatening. It becomes fascinating.”
The most extraordinary breakthroughs in human progress have rarely come from people who fit perfectly into existing structures. They have come from those willing to see differently, think differently and imagine differently. Yet their contributions were only possible because someone, somewhere, chose curiosity over judgement and listening over dismissal.
Success can be meaningful, but it is only a small chapter in the story of a life.”
As I reflect on my own journey, I hope people see something far greater than a collection of achievements or a career celebrated on a global stage. Success can be meaningful, but it is only a small chapter in the story of a life. What matters most is the integrity with which we live, the courage to remain true to ourselves, and the humanity we extend to others along the way.
Something remarkable happens when we stop apologising for who we are. We unconsciously give others permission to do the same.its, but when everyone is listened to.
To live openly, courageously and unapologetically as ourselves is an act of leadership. To listen deeply to those whose lives differ from our own is an act of wisdom.”
That is why the spirit of Square Peg, Round Hole resonates so deeply with me. It is not simply a celebration of difference. It is a call to create a culture of curiosity. A culture where listening is valued more highly than labelling. A culture where understanding matters more than agreement. A culture where belonging is not something people must earn by becoming less of themselves.
Something remarkable happens when we stop apologising for who we are. We unconsciously give others permission to do the same. Authenticity becomes contagious, courage becomes shared, and generosity emerges naturally, because we are no longer competing for a place at the table – we are simply making the table bigger. To live openly, courageously and unapologetically as ourselves is an act of leadership. To listen deeply to those whose lives differ from our own is an act of wisdom. To remain endlessly curious about the richness of human experience is an act of love.
In the end, humanity advances not when everyone fits, but when everyone is listened to.”
Perhaps the future we all hope for will not be built by finding better ways to make people fit predetermined holes. Perhaps it will begin when we become curious enough to understand the remarkable shapes already standing before us, and humble enough to recognise that every shape reveals a perspective the world would be poorer without. In the end, humanity advances not when everyone fits, but when everyone is listened to.
Evelyn
Originally written as a submission for inclusion as ‘My Square Peg Round Hole Moment’ in the limited print first edition of Square Peg, Round Hole book, which accompanied the art series and exhibition of the same name by Gina Long, curated by Emma Roodhouse.
